Lately I'm having a hard time getting Zach to clean his room. He will be 4 1/2 in a month.
Is it too early? Am I expecting too much from him?
Penny for your thoughts!
For more Works For Me Wednesday, Head on over to Shannon's. Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Works For Me Wednesday: Is he too young?
Lately I'm having a hard time getting Zach to clean his room. He will be 4 1/2 in a month.
Is it too early? Am I expecting too much from him?
Penny for your thoughts!
For more Works For Me Wednesday, Head on over to Shannon's. 
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I have a just turned 4 year old boy. We make his bed together, I sit on it after and read aloud to him while he cleans. First I get him to pick everything up off the floor (under the bed, etc) and put it on the bed, then from there he puts stuff away.
I started doing this about a month ago, I used to do it all with him, but he works dilligently if I am right there keeping him company. I do the same thing for my two girls who share a room. Read alouds at each level are part of our home-schooling day anyway, so this way we kill multiple birds with one stone.
I read pre-school read alouds to my ds in his room, kindergarten read alouds in the girls bedroom, and grade 3 read alouds in the play room. What used to be 45 min's a day of couch time is now much more productive! (we still get snuggle time in there too though... they finish cleaning and come sit close by till the story is done). Works for me!
We were just talking about this at a parenting book study at church. One of the important things, I think, that I shared with the group, is that it is important to teach a child *how* to clean their rooms. I don't know what you have done with him (so not making a guess), but several of the parents hadn't thought of it. Many of them just tried to send kids to their room and tell them to "clean it up." Instead, especially for younger kids (or ones that have never had to clean their rooms) is to work with them for a while on the cleaning. Help them to know how to do it step by step. I think it is overwhelming for many children, so it helps when it is broken down into steps.
Good luck!
I don't think it's ever too early to teach a child responsibility and starting with their room is a great place to begin. Make sure you help them out by having easy to reach storage containers and show them how to properly put things away. It's also important to not let their room get too much in disarray as they can easily get overwhelmed which can lead to temper tantrums on both their part and yours! When my kids were younger there were always fun rewards, like stickers, a pick from the candy jar, a trip to the park, pogs (these are an 80's and 90's thing - they were plastic coins and when they earned a certain number of "pogs" they could trade them in for cold hard cash! - "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."
[Proverbs 22:6]
Briggie ^i^ http://jehovahroi.wordpress.com
WOW! Already 3 great responses. I do usually end up going in there and sitting with him, kind of helping him by telling him where things go. I just always wondered if he should be doing it on his own now.
I've started giving him computer privileges when he does clean it alone (if it only requires being picked up) and that seems to be helping.
I actually have had AMAZING success with www.housefairy.org I haven't even paid for the subscription. I let Jayden watch one video on her website that wasn't part of the subscription and started playing housefairy and my child's room looks great! He even tells me sometimes, "Mom, you better clean your room the house fairy might come."
As for what the house fairy leaves ~ she leaves stickers, pencils, chapstick, fruit roll ups ~ and it makes it so much fun for them.
Good luck!!
The House Fairy visits our house too, and it has been wonderful. My kids are 10, 8 and 3 1/2 and we have just started including our youngest. We clean his room together, and just chat about how the house fairy might visit.
That is totally not too early. I have started earlier with my kids and they know that if mom tells you that it is time to pick up then you had better get moving. Teaching kids young to help with chores is essential to getting them to do them when they are older.
The key is to keep messes manageable. I get less resistance when there is less mess, I think a huge mess is just too overwhelming for them in their easily distracted state. I also ask them to look for a particular toy so they have something to focus on.
Another mess buster is to not keep any toys in the bedroom. We have all our toys in the family room so that everyone can play with them. When they get older we plan on letting them keep a few special toys in the room, but for the most part everything will be in one area.
If you are sticking him in a room that is a total disaster and leaving him alone to clean it then your expectations are probably too high. I would stay in the room with him and guide him through the process. I use bins for everything at my house. They are clear and hold one type of toy so the kids can easily see what goes where.
The Happy Housewife
http://happyhousewife.wordpress.com
My boys are 6 and 5 and have been responsible for picking up thier toys they play with since they could walk. This does take patience, and is not always an easy feat. I just remember when I worked in a daycare, you could not move to the next center until you cleaned the one you were at. This was applied to al children starting in our 12-18 month room. I just carried this on into my own home. You play, you clean. There was one time the boys refused to pick up thier toys, I think they were about 2 1/2 and 3 1/2, I let them know if mommy picks up the toys they go in the trash. They did go in the trash. It was a clean trash bag and the toys were not actually thrown away. I put them back slowly a few at a time durring nap time. They never knew and still they even tell thier friends that if they don't clean up mom will throw away the toys. My favorite part of that is when the 5 yo says "seriously, she's done it before, she threw away all our toys" I think the trama from seeing their toys in the trash made them loose sight of the fact that they mysteriously reappeared a couple of weeks later.
I've done it The Silva's way and that worked for my stubborn boy as well. He just turned 4 but is a pro at cleaning up his toys--I do the "real" cleaning like dusting, vacuuming, etc. I containerize everything so instead of a vague "go clean your room" I can hand him a bin and say "put away all your Mr Potato Head parts"--small tasks are more manageable.
I read a book (I think by Dr. Dobson, but am not sure) that said boys need us to give them specifics. Telling them to pick up isn't good enough because they don't know what to do. My 6 and 4 yo boys share a room, and when I send them in to clean I tell them each step. Pick up and put away books. Take dirty laundry to clothes hamper. Pick up and put away toys. Look under the beds. Another piece of advice is to remember that a 4 yo won't clean how you would, and that's ok.
I just read a great hint the other day about breaking it into steps. 1 -- Make the bed, 2 pick up all the stuff on the floor and put it on the bed, 3 take care of the stuff on the bed. They can't really sleep in the bed until the bed is clear. I think this really works because you start to see immediate results. Straightened bed and clean floor.
I don't think it is too early. I have a 3 year old and she cleans her room (Of course I have to make the bed and open the toy boxes for her) She does a great job. I think it helps because I always tend to get REALLY excited when she does it. I think that makes her want to clean it all the time.
Wish it worked on my oldest daughter. LOL!!
Funny - I've been having the same problem with my little boy. I tried a new strategy here: http://rebekahherzog.blogspot.com/2008/02/one-of-my-parenting-experiments-that.html
What is really cool is that last night was the first time he didn't pass inspection and I wasn't sure how he would respond. There were some items on his closet floor that didn't belong there and he walked into his room picked the toys up and took them to the spare room with the other toys that he hasn't earned back. I was so proud of him because he kept a great attitude through it all. I told him he needed to take care of it in the morning and this morning he got up and cleaned it first thing without me needing to remind him. It's been working like a charm! Let me know if you try this strategy and it it works - I'd love to know.
Oooh, many great answers! Our children having been picking up their stuff for a long time. When they are little ones they learn to help us pick up, then as they grow they get their own little area and as they get to age 4 or so they know how to clean their rooms up. As long as you show them what to do they usually do a pretty good job!
I don't think 4 1/2 is too young. After all, kids start kindergarten at age 5. These are the formative years, so it's best to get him in the habit of cleaning up his room and teach him a little about responsibility now.
I agree with one of the other posters that said you shouldn't stick him in a messy room and expect everything to get done, but you can get him to do small jobs like pick up toys after he gets done playing with them, and then you can always help him out with the big jobs.
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